Let's Settle It: Is Joe Jonas the Most Stylish Brother?
Discover the profound power hidden in the simple word 'let'. Learn how letting go, letting be, and letting in can unlock new levels of freedom, peace, and resilience.
Dr. Anya Sharma
Psychologist and mindfulness coach dedicated to helping people find freedom in everyday life.
We live in a world of action. Do. Strive. Achieve. Push. Control. These words form the backbone of our daily vocabulary, our goals, and our measures of success. We’re taught to grab life by the horns, to make things happen, to never give up. But what if the most powerful action you could take today isn’t an action at all? What if it’s a release?
Enter the word ‘Let.’
It’s a small, unassuming, three-letter word, often used as a simple permission slip. “Let me help you.” “Let’s go.” But hidden within its simplicity is a profound philosophy for a more peaceful and resilient life. It’s the gentle antidote to the relentless pressure of ‘must’ and ‘should.’ It’s about understanding that sometimes, the greatest strength lies not in holding on tighter, but in daring to let go.
The Unclenching: The Power of Letting Go
Imagine you’ve been carrying a heavy backpack since you woke up this morning. Inside, you’ve packed every mistake from last week, a few weighty grudges against people who wronged you, and a large, jagged rock of anxiety about the future. You carry it everywhere. To work. To dinner. To bed. It’s exhausting. Your shoulders ache, your back is sore, and you can’t move freely.
Holding onto things that no longer serve us is exactly like this. We carry the weight of past failures, resentments, and the suffocating need to control every outcome. ‘Letting go’ is the simple, conscious decision to put the backpack down. It’s not forgetting; it’s choosing freedom over burden.
What can we practice letting go of?
- The Need for Control: Life is inherently unpredictable. We can plan, prepare, and work hard, but we cannot control everything. Letting go of this illusion doesn’t mean being passive; it means focusing your energy on what you can influence—your actions and reactions—and releasing the anxiety over what you can’t.
- Past Mistakes: Shame and regret are heavy companions. When you hold onto a past mistake, you allow it to define your present. Letting go means accepting that you did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time. It’s about extracting the lesson and leaving the self-blame behind.
- Expectations of Others: We often have a detailed script for how we think others should behave. When they deviate from it, we feel disappointed or angry. Letting go of these rigid expectations allows you to see and appreciate people for who they truly are, not who you want them to be.
The Stillness: The Wisdom of Letting Be
Slightly different from letting go, ‘letting be’ is an art of radical acceptance. It’s not about discarding something; it’s about allowing it to exist without fighting it. If letting go is putting down the backpack, letting be is acknowledging the rainstorm outside without running out to try and stop the clouds.
This is a powerful practice for dealing with things you cannot change, including your own internal state.
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
- Carl Rogers
‘Letting be’ applies to:
- Difficult Emotions: Our instinct is to push away feelings like sadness, anger, or fear. We distract ourselves, numb out, or pretend they aren’t there. To ‘let them be’ means to allow yourself to feel them without judgment. Acknowledge the sadness. Sit with the anxiety for a moment. By giving them space, you rob them of their power to control you from the shadows. They become visitors, not permanent residents.
- The Present Moment: So often, we resist what is. We wish the traffic would move faster, that the meeting was over, that we felt more energetic. Letting be is about accepting the reality of the present moment. This doesn’t mean you have to like it, but you stop wasting energy fighting it. Acceptance is the starting point for effective action.
The Invitation: The Courage to Let In
‘Let’ is not just about release and acceptance; it’s also an active invitation. After we’ve put down the backpack of the past and stopped fighting the weather of the present, we create space. The final dimension of ‘let’ is about what we allow to fill that space.
Many of us build walls to protect ourselves. We’ve been hurt, so we’re cautious about love. We’ve failed, so we’re hesitant to try new things. We feel like a burden, so we refuse help. ‘Letting in’ is the courageous act of opening the door.
It’s about giving yourself permission to:
- Let in Help: Asking for and accepting support is a sign of strength, not weakness. It shows you have the self-awareness to know you don’t have to do it all alone.
- Let in Joy: Sometimes we’re so focused on our problems that we don’t even notice the small moments of beauty and happiness around us. Let in the warmth of the sun, the taste of your coffee, the kindness of a stranger.
- Let in Possibility: When you let go of rigid plans and expectations, you create an opening for serendipity and new opportunities you could never have predicted.
How to Practice 'Letting'
This all sounds good in theory, but how do you actually do it? The practice of ‘let’ is a muscle you build over time. It starts with small, conscious choices.
Start with Your Breath
This is the simplest entry point. Find a quiet spot and take a few deep breaths. On the inhale, notice what you’re holding onto—a tense shoulder, a worried thought. On the exhale, mentally whisper the word “let” and imagine the tension releasing with your breath.
Use a Journaling Prompt
Writing can untangle the knots in our minds. Try one of these prompts:
- What am I holding onto that no longer serves me?
- What would it feel like to let this situation just be, for today?
- What am I afraid to let in?
The 'What If?' Reframe
When you find yourself trying to force an outcome, pause and reframe your thought. Instead of, “I must make this work,” try asking, “What if I let this unfold and trusted the process?” This shifts your mindset from one of force to one of curiosity and openness.
Verbalize It
There is power in speaking. Say it out loud, even just to yourself. “I am letting go of the need to be perfect.” “I am letting this anger be here for a moment.” “I am letting in help.” The act of speaking can make the intention more concrete.
The Active Choice for Peace
The word ‘let’ is not a synonym for giving up. It is not passive resignation. It is an active, conscious, and profoundly brave choice.
It’s choosing peace over struggle, freedom over burden, and presence over resistance. It’s the wisdom to know when to hold on and when to open your hand. Today, in some small way, what can you simply… let?